How can I return to Allah's mercy?

The last five years are something I'd rather forget. I've made so many mistakes and sinned, turning away from Allah. During that time, I kept asking for the same thing, hoping for the same outcome, but it never happened. Now, though, I see that Alhamdulillah, Allah protected me from harm by not granting my wishes. I feel so distant from Him now. In the midst of all my foolish desires and endless dua, I feel like I've lost that connection with Allah. I used to feel so close, but now it's hard to connect like before. I just want to go back. Is my repentance even acceptable? I feel selfish-always running back only when I need something. I don't want to be that person anymore. I want to truly redeem myself, but I'm not sure how to start.