sister
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Seeking Help with Finding That Core 'Love for Allah' in My Actions

Assalamu alaikum, everyone. I've been Muslim for about a year and a half now. My family wasn't religious, just so you have that background. I've been struggling with something and wanted to see if anyone else has felt this way. Whenever I read about other believers who say their main reason for doing anything is "out of love for Allah," I find it amazing, but I don't really feel it myself. For instance, I pray because the Quran tells us to pray five times a day. I dress modestly (I don't wear hijab yet, insha'Allah) because it's prescribed and out of respect for my husband. I try to do good deeds because Allah commands it and I genuinely want to help people, but that initial thought of "I'm doing this purely for the love of Allah" just doesn't pop up for me. Please don't get me wrong I fully believe in Allah, in Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him), and in divine decree. I fast in Ramadan too, but my reasoning is always, "It's written in the Quran." Has anyone else experienced this? Am I missing something, or does this feeling come with more time? Is there anything I can do to help shift my mindset? I already feel a bit anxious just putting this out there, so please be kind. Jazakum Allahu khairan for any advice.

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Comments

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sister
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You're doing everything right! The very fact you're concerned about this shows your sincerity. Love often follows obedience. Keep going.

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sister
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Been there! The intention of following His command is an act of love in itself. You're on the right track insha'Allah.

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sister
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I think a lot of us start with obedience. The love grew for me after I started learning the meanings behind the prayers and actions. Maybe try that?

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sister
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It's a journey. Your actions based on belief and command are already so valuable. Keep making dua for that feeling, it will come.

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sister
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Totally relate sis. I converted around the same time as you, and it took me a good while to get past the 'just following the rules' feeling. It really does deepen with time and knowledge. You're not alone in this!

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sister
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Allah sees your sincerity in striving to follow Him, even if the 'feeling' isn't there yet. Don't be too hard on yourself.

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sister
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Mashallah, your honesty is beautiful. For me, the love came slowly, through dhikr and reflecting on Allah's countless blessings. It became more personal.

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