Struggling with Envy and Jealousy in My Heart
As-salamu alaykum, I've been dealing with a heavy heart for about 8-9 years now. I feel like time hasn't been on my side. Despite fulfilling my obligations like prayer, fasting, making dua, and wearing hijab, I've been facing one trial after another. I see sisters who don't wear hijab achieving their goals, whether it's buying a car, a house, or succeeding in their careers and businesses. Meanwhile, I've been facing challenges every step of the way. I used to make dua for others when I felt jealous, but now I mostly make dua for myself. It's hard to explain, but it feels like my duas are accepted when I pray for others, not for myself. People often say we should make dua for others' blessings, but I wonder, why should I do that if I'm not intending any harm? Can't I just ask Allah for the same blessings for myself? Honestly, I'm scared because I feel like my heart is filling up with hatred and bitterness. I'm struggling to find peace and sometimes feel overwhelmed. I hope someone can offer some guidance or advice on how to overcome these feelings and find my way back to a more positive and loving heart. Jazakum Allahu khairan.