Assalamu alaikum, needing advice on family struggles and reconnecting with Islam

Salam everyone. I’m not sure where to turn, but I’m really struggling and could use some guidance. I grew up in a home where my dad is Muslim by birth but not practicing, while my mom is very strict about religion. They divorced after my mom was unfaithful to my dad-which feels contradictory given her strong religious stance. Growing up, if I ever asked questions about Islam out of curiosity or to understand better, my mom would shut me down and call me a kafir. I know Islam teaches us to respect our parents, but I truly believe my mom has some extreme views. She’s heavily into Shia practices and took me to Ashura processions where I saw people cutting themselves with swords. She even said she’d sacrifice all her children if it meant bringing back a certain leader. She often says things like “May Allah never forgive you” and once claimed that someone who doesn’t pray will be punished more than a rapist, which doesn’t seem right to me. When my mom had her affair, I knew about it. The man involved used to pull my hair and try to touch my waist in a weird way. When I told my mom, she brushed it off as joking. My brothers are also very harsh. They call me awful names like “slut” or worse, even though I’ve never had a boyfriend or done anything intimate. Meanwhile, my mom threatens to check my phone to see if I’m talking to any boys, which feels unfair because my brothers face no such restrictions. One of them, who is 20, has already had premarital relations with a younger girl, cheated on his fiancée, and still talks to multiple women. Alhamdulillah, I’m fairly smart-I graduated high school a year early and got into universities out of state. But my parents keep pressuring me to come back home and say my chosen major will lead nowhere. I feel really alone. My brothers often spy on me and report back to my parents. Once I hung out with a female friend, and I found out my brother followed us and took photos just to confirm she wasn’t a man. When I try to learn about Islam on my own, I just don’t feel a connection anymore, and I’m truly lost. Any advice or du’as would mean a lot.