Overwhelmed with Regret After Slipping into the Same Mistake

I’m sharing this because the weight of my guilt is just too much, and I’ve got no one else to open up to. Lately, I got really close to someone, and I ended up doing things that completely go against everything I believe in as a Muslim. The second it’s over, I’m hit with this crushing remorse. I’ve lost count of the nights I’ve cried my eyes out, honestly just so disappointed in myself for letting it happen again. I’m not here to hear that it was wrong-I already know it was. What’s eating me up is how to deal with this guilt and find a way back to Allah with a sincere heart. Recently, I’ve been feeling this strong urge to pray and reconnect, but the moment I think of doing wudu or just standing for salah, the shame just freezes me. I catch myself thinking, is Allah just done with me? Have I messed up too badly? But in my heart, I know His mercy is endless… yet I still feel like I don’t deserve to ask for it. I’m still figuring things out, trying to be a better Muslim. Right now, I could really use some support from anyone who’s felt this kind of guilt or distance from Allah. If you’ve been there, what helped you finally take that first step to come back? Please remember me in your duas. Ya Allah, forgive us all, guide us, and make it easy for us to return to You. Ameen. 🤍