Why Is This Happening to Me? Am I Being Punished?

Assalamu alaikum, I need real, honest advice-please don’t sugarcoat anything or be nice just because you feel sorry for me. I don’t usually post on forums, and I barely downloaded this app, but I really need help, so please be truthful. If my story gets a bit messy, forgive me-I’m not the best at telling things in order. My twin and I have some things in common, but mostly we’re total opposites. He’s a boy and I’m a girl, and our whole lives we’ve been compared. He’s always been the smart, sweet, good-looking, calm one, while I’m seen as nice but annoying-too talkative, loud, funny, and the “fat” one. You get the idea. Things always came easier for him. He was treated better when we were kids, and now that we’re older it’s even worse. My parents are a bit traditional, so I had to stay home and watch my little brothers and sister while he got to do whatever he wanted. I missed so many hangouts, school events, and fun stuff just because I’m a girl and he’s a boy. Does that make sense? I wasn’t allowed to get a job at first, and even if I wanted to, I couldn’t because my dad wanted me home after school to babysit. Meanwhile, my brother could work and earn money. I barely had any money during school, and it really hurt knowing I could’ve bought things I needed but couldn’t, all because I’m a girl. And before you ask, my dad said he couldn’t support me because of his budget, and my brother is stingy-he’d never in a million years get me anything nice, not even as a friendly gesture. Things always went his way and still do, even though he’s not the kindest to me while he treats everyone else like royalty. I must be some kind of test subject to him. He’s so annoyed and rude to me but sweet to all our other family-and I mean ALL of them-and of course to his friends. One day he was being really mean, and to give some background, because he treated me badly, I started doing the same back. He was stingy, so I became stingy. He was rude, so I was rude too-only because he started it. I know being petty isn’t good, astaghfirullah, but I couldn’t help it. Why is he so stuck-up and harsh only to me, his twin, but puts everyone else on a pedestal? That day when he was being a jerk, I asked him, “Why do you treat me like this? You treat everyone else better.” He said, “Well, you’re not nice to me either,” and we talked along those lines. I suddenly realized he was right-I wasn’t nice to him either. Not only because he started acting mean first, and it became a cycle over years, but I didn’t even notice I was being mean. It just became my new normal, if that makes sense. Since that day, I swear I’ve been trying to treat him a lot better, and he’s been better too. Sort of. I say “sort of” because even though he’s nicer, he still treats his friends better than me-not in a strange way, I just wish we could all be equal. Remember how everything works out for him? For our birthday a few months back, he got to hang out with his whole friend group and came home at 10 p.m. That might sound normal to you, but for us it’s super late, or at least it’s very late for me. I’m only allowed to go out with friends for an hour or two. Once I asked my dad if I could meet friends to grab food, and he said, “Okay, get the food and come right back.” Are you serious? For my brother, he wouldn’t even blink an eye! Another time, I told him two days before a mall hangout, reminded him the day before, on the day itself, and even a couple hours before-we were going to the mall. I had no responsibilities that day since my younger siblings were at their aunt’s house and he was at work. We left at 4 p.m., and he called me at 7 asking where I was, basically saying I was in trouble just for being with my friends. I had to rush home. It took me a while to realize, but he always does this no matter where I am, like he does it on purpose to scare me or get some kick out of it, and I don’t know why. Back to the birthday: he didn’t even let me go 15 minutes away to a shopping center, wouldn’t let me see a movie near there, and refused to take me. I had nobody to hang out with, no party, and only got some money-it was supposed to be the best birthday ever. I didn’t want to just sit home bored all day, so I called two friends and we ended up somewhere I didn’t even want to go, a shopping center near school. You know those aren’t always the best. And I had to come home hours earlier than my twin. It wasn’t a fun birthday, but I’m grateful for the two friends who could come. I’m not saying he shouldn’t have a good birthday-of course he should, everyone should-but why not me? Why do I always get the short end of the stick? Why can’t I hang out as long? Oh, and the place he went for his birthday was 30 minutes away. Again, I’m glad he had a good time, but that’s just one of many examples. Please tell me if I sound like I’m just feeling sorry for myself. He’s still much smarter than me, alhamdulillah for him. I’m not stupid-I’m average-but not as smart as him. If you can’t already tell, I have some trouble with spelling, and a lot of people think I might have dyslexia, but I never got tested because my dad refuses, even after me and my older sibling asked him to (?????). He got a really good GPA, 3.6, masha’Allah, and mine ended up a 2.95. I’m still so upset because it was so close to 3.0. He got a full ride to the university we’re both going to, and I have to pay 11k out of pocket. I have no idea how-I can’t take student loans for reasons I can’t mention, and I have to go to this university because they’re the only one with my major. I just want to be a normal girl and go to university, but I’m scared because I don’t know how to get 11k each semester. I have no money for back-to-school shopping, nothing in savings, and I need to pay for university. I wear the same pair of shoes every day-ones I got a year ago, and now they’re ruined because of something he did. My older sibling takes ALL my clothes-and I’m not exaggerating, I mean ALL-to wear whenever she goes out, which I can’t really do because I have to babysit. When I do leave, I’m in the same jeans and one of two shirts, rotating. And no, I can’t just take them back-she was/is pregnant and stretches them out. There are so many more things I could say, but maybe now you see how things rarely go my way. I’m not saying things should flip and become bad for him, but why can’t we be equal? And yes, a 2.9 doesn’t pay for college, but I’ve been applying for lots of scholarships and I tried so, so hard in school-staying after school as much as I could before I had to rush home to babysit, remember? I want honest, genuine advice. Tell me what you think, what should I do about my whole situation? How can I better myself? Am I just pitying myself? I’m tired of this-why is Allah doing this to me? Is this some kind of punishment? I’m not saying he has to be good to me for things to work out, but I do everything for my family, I always help everyone when they ask, yet I never get the good end. Why? Do I need to be more selfish? Please let me know if you want me to explain anything more, or if something was confusing, or if you need more examples. I just want to know why.