I just want to disappear from this life

Ya Allah, everyday I stare at my medicine bottle and the water beside it, just wishing You’d take me before I do something to myself. I’ve got no one, not even my own family. They keep saying hurtful things, and everyone’s always like ‘respect your mother’ or reminding me that Jannah lies beneath her feet. But what about the child? Does no one care about how I feel? She’s the biggest reason I’m like this. Every morning I wake up and wish I hadn’t. I’m drowning in sadness and worry, and no one shows me an ounce of kindness or respect. And my looks just make it all worse. Anytime I try to speak about it, they accuse me of being rude to my mom and just wanting attention. Nobody actually hears me or treats me like a real person.