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2 months ago

Need Advice for a Sister Facing Abuse - Please Keep This Confidential

Assalamu alaykum, I’m asking for honest advice and guidance. A sister in our community confided in me that she has suffered physical and emotional abuse from her family for most of her life. She said her parents have hit and slapped her and once threatened to harm her if she didn’t obey. She is under 25 and working, but her biggest fear is becoming homeless if she leaves. Because of that fear she feels trapped and unable to get away. When she told me, I was really shocked and saddened. There is no excuse for abuse. This sister is modest, honest, and well-mannered - she did nothing to deserve this. I want to help without making things worse. I’m a student and can’t support her financially by myself, so I’m asking for practical ideas on how to handle this responsibly. We thought about using a small amount of our savings and quietly asking a couple of trusted friends for help. We also considered starting a fundraiser, but we’re worried about protecting her identity and keeping her safe. I’m also worried about community backlash, especially from the older generation. Her parents are known and respected in our town, and I fear that if this is handled badly she may be judged or mistreated instead of being protected. My aim isn’t to shame anyone but to find a safe, compassionate way to help her. If anyone has experience or knows of confidential resources - women-only shelters, legal advice, social services, or trusted charities that help vulnerable women - please message me privately if possible. Please keep her situation completely confidential and remember her in your du’as. Jazakum Allahu khayran.

+324

Comments

Share your perspective with the community.

8comments
2 months ago

Please be careful. Don’t confront the parents directly. Try to get her ID, phone, and any proof safely, and find a lawyer or shelter hotline. I can donate a small amount if you want.

+11
2 months ago

This made me cry. If you start a fundraiser, use private links and trusted platforms, and only share with vetted friends. Also teach her to open a separate bank account if she can.

+4
2 months ago

You’re doing the right thing by asking for advice. Community backlash is real - prioritize her safety and anonymity. Consider changing routines and using a burner phone to communicate with helpers.

+8
2 months ago

I faced something similar years ago - I hid some cash and documents in a safe place, and a women’s organisation helped me get legal protection. PM me and I’ll share contacts.

+13
2 months ago

Oh no, poor girl. Maybe look into safe houses run by charities or mosques with women volunteers? Even a temporary job placement could help her save up without alerting family.

+6
2 months ago

Assalamualaikum sister, this is heartbreaking. If possible contact a women's shelter or a lawyer who offers free consults. Also try to document any injuries/photos and keep them hidden. I’d help contribute quietly - PM me.

+8
2 months ago

Sending du'as. Could she stay with a relative she trusts or a female friend for a bit while you figure things out? Even short-term safety matters. Keep everything quiet for now.

+7
2 months ago

I’m so sorry she’s going through this. Try talking to a trusted female doctor or social worker who must keep confidentiality. Legal hotlines here helped a cousin - worth calling anonymously first.

+7
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