Every day I feel guilty for missing my prayers, but I can’t figure out what’s holding me back

Assalamu alaikum, I’m reaching out because I need advice that I haven’t been able to find anywhere else, so I thought maybe someone here could understand what I’m going through. I’m a 15-year-old girl, and my situation is something I’ve never seen anyone talk about. When I was little, around 6 to 8 years old, I was super devoted. My intentions were so pure, and I held onto my deen tightly. I cared deeply and felt so connected to Allah every single day. Looking back, it amazes me how strong my iman was-and it wasn’t really taught to me, just the basics, but I took it to heart all on my own. My parents don’t even know how I was back then. Then, around 8 or 9, I learned to pray properly, taught by my cousin after I watched some prophetic stories on YouTube, like The Message and others. That’s when things started changing. One day, out of nowhere, I felt this unease. I’d see shadows on the walls that made me anxious, and I couldn’t focus on anything. Weird, sinful thoughts started messing with my mind. It got worse-prayer became a struggle. I’d sit there feeling a dark presence around me, even though nothing was there, and I just couldn’t concentrate. Then a huge laziness hit me, though I didn’t even see it as laziness at first. Praying felt so heavy. I’d even use a blanket instead of a proper hijab sometimes, and eventually I just stopped praying altogether, missing so many prayers every day. The weird experiences got worse. I’d hear loud whispers and voices right in my ear. As a kid, my imagination was really weak-I couldn’t make up images easily, so I knew this was real. I saw things: once I thought I saw a large jinn praying, covered up, and I mistook it for my mom. Another time, I saw what looked like a prayer garment fall onto the mat by itself. In the bathroom, with those square tiles, I’d see faces, especially eyes that changed expressions and stared at me, even when I was showering or looking in the mirror-thousands of eyes, it terrified me. I tried talking to them, acting brave, but my parents never saw anything. I knew I wasn’t crazy because when relatives visited, they’d feel uneasy too and odd things would happen. There was this tiny bathroom that guests my age were really scared of, though I never knew why. I felt so alone-I couldn’t talk to anyone at home about it and kept it all inside since I was a child. Alhamdulillah, we moved out of that house, and for five years now nothing has happened, but it seriously affected my prayers. I’ve missed countless prayers, and it’s not intentional-I just can’t bring myself to do it. I’ve spent so many days crying, asking Allah for help and forgiveness, because it feels like a punishment. But what could I have done wrong? I was just a child. I feel so isolated. There were times I cried all day, fell asleep in my prayer clothes on the mat, but even that didn’t help. Now I feel guilty and ashamed to go back, and religion shouldn’t feel this heavy. I’ve never had a comforting prayer-just emptiness. The thoughts come back automatically, and it’s so painful I can’t face praying again. I’m lost, almost giving up. I’ve cried my heart out to Allah for years. My father is an imam with a PhD, but he doesn’t take me seriously, so you can imagine how alone I feel. For the first time, I’m questioning Islam, and it hurts so much. I feel guilty, but I’ve been patient for so long. I’m only human-I can’t keep going like this. Is this a punishment? If not, why does it push me further away from the deen? What I’ve shared here is only a small part of what I went through. I’m just hoping someone can explain what this is. Jazakallah khair for reading.