Navigating Family Expectations: My Journey with Simple Adornments

Assalamu alaikum. I come from a family that is deeply committed to our faith, especially my mother. She is the kindest, most caring, and most pious person I know. Yet, there’s one matter where I can never seem to align with her perspective. Recently, I went out wearing just a tiny bit of kohl for my lashes and tidied my brows. My mother saw it as tabarruj and firmly stated it was impermissible. I can’t even purchase these simple items without seeing the sadness and worry in her eyes. She calls it a waste of wealth, even though I only ever get the most basic and affordable things, usually just that bit of kohl. Her conviction is unshakeable. I remember when my sister once bought some kohl; the family's reaction was intense. The home fell into a quiet tension, with everyone speaking in low voices as if a major wrong had occurred. While she was away, they disposed of all her purchases. For me, even wearing a little kohl draws these silent, heavy looks from my family, making me feel as if I’ve committed a grave error. It brings me a lot of sadness, especially during joyful times like Eid. One Eid, visiting my grandfather’s home, I saw younger girls celebrating, lightly adorned and dressed up, completely free of such pressure. Outside too, I notice many young women wearing simple, beautiful adornments, and I feel a tinge of envy. In my family, it’s understood that such matters are only considered after marriage.