Assalamualaikum, I need advice about my situation at home

Assalamualaikum sisters, I want to share what's been going on with my mother (around 45–50). She is very religious, alhamdulillah, and she truly wants us to reach Jannah. She reminds us to respect parents because being disrespectful is haram, and I accept that. But lately her behaviour has become really hard for me to handle. She uses her position as my mother in a way that feels like arrogance. When something I do upsets her, she often makes me feel like I'm the one at fault for being upset. She says things like “if you could see the devils inside you you would be scared,” and she guilts me into thinking I'm a bad person. Last year she used to hit me quite often. Alhamdulillah she has stopped this year (or at least I hope she won't do it again). After hurting me she would sometimes apologise and cry, and I tried to forgive her. Once when she asked if I forgave her, I said I hadn't fully forgiven her and before I could explain she started crying and made herself look like the victim. She even called me “the devil” in front of my siblings, who then bullied me about it. Recently I bought three Malay copies of my favourite manga, Bungou Stray Dogs, thinking it might help my Malay since I'm struggling in that subject at school. I was learning some words from it. My mother now says anime is haram (she used to be okay with it) and when she realised the books were manga she insisted I give them to her. She then accused me of having an anime profile picture on WhatsApp - my profile picture is literally a cookie - but everything looks like “anime” to her and it felt like she was just finding an excuse to punish me. I cried a lot after that. It wasn't just about losing the books - I have national exams next year and I need to pass Malay. Losing the books took away my motivation because I can't find the Malay version online. She also says Hollywood and many dramas are haram because they’re inappropriate or a waste of time. But my siblings watch shows with all kinds of troubling content, including characters who die by suicide, and she doesn’t scold them the way she scolds me. She talks about throwing out the TV because a sheikh once recommended it, but she never actually does. I don't understand why she lets them be happy while I’m left feeling miserable. I have thoughts about self-harm sometimes, though I would never act on them because I'm afraid of how my siblings would humiliate me and how my mother would react. If I ever tell her I'm depressed she doesn't really accept it - she says it's from the shaytaan and won't consider that I might need help. I once tried to tell her I might be autistic and she shut me down, saying it was from the devil and not giving me a chance to explain. She often blames the devil for my behaviour but then says I have so many jinn and also says I don't - her contradictions are confusing and feel manipulative. Even when she apologises she frames things as the devil making her act that way rather than taking full responsibility. I feel stuck. I can't openly go against her and I won't run away - I don't have a plan and that would be risky. Please, sisters, pray for me (doa) - I'm really distressed and need guidance. What should I do? How can I cope with this and try to improve my situation while keeping my faith and respecting my parents? Yours sincerely, A distressed sister P.S. Sorry if there are spelling mistakes - I'm typing from the heart and it's not polished.