9 Years of Love, Now Facing a Family Challenge – Feeling Lost

Assalamu alaikum, everyone. I wanted to share something that’s been weighing heavily on my heart. For nine years, I’ve been in a relationship with a man I deeply care about. I’m Afghan, and he’s Pakistani. We met in university when I was 20, and now we’re both 29. Throughout these years, we’ve been through a lot together, balancing our studies and careers. I hadn’t mentioned him to my parents earlier because I wanted to be completely sure about our future, seeking Allah’s guidance. Lately, as we’ve seen our parents getting older and facing health concerns, we started seriously considering marriage, and I felt it was time to talk to my family. I spoke to my mother a few months ago. Initially, she was worried about our different backgrounds, but after meeting him and seeing his character, she became more supportive, alhamdulillah. Telling my father was a different story. He became very upset, expressing concerns about cultural differences and past tensions between our communities. He’s worried about what others might say and fears I could be hurt. He’s asked me to end the relationship and even mentioned arranging a marriage with someone else, perhaps a relative abroad. I’ve tried to stay patient, hoping he’d soften his heart with time. When I brought it up again recently, he got angry again and insisted on the idea of an arranged marriage. Now, I feel completely stuck. My father is also unwell, and I don’t want to add to his stress or cause him pain. But at the same time, it doesn’t feel right to walk away from a nine-year bond with someone who means so much to me. I’m torn between my family and my own life’s path, and honestly, I’m unsure what to do. I trust in Allah’s plan, but it’s hard. Has anyone experienced something similar? How did you navigate it? Any advice or dua would be appreciated. JazakAllah khair.