My second Umrah in Saudi and I felt nothing at all

Assalamu alaikum, I’m an 18-year-old Muslimah and I’m in Makkah right now. I finished Umrah a few days ago, but while I was performing it, I just felt so disconnected. I saw people crying, making heartfelt dua, and me? I felt like I didn’t belong. Emotionless, and honestly, I was embarrassed. My iman is so low, I don’t even feel guilty when I sin. In my mind, I know what I’m doing is wrong, and I try really hard to make myself regret it, but I just can’t. This isn’t something new. I also did Umrah back in 2024, when I was 16, and it was Ramadan then, but even then I just wanted to go home because I felt out of place again. My iman slipped away a long time ago. I haven’t prayed all five salah in years, and deep down I’m totally scared of the punishment in the Hereafter, but I can’t seem to make any change. It’s awful because when I was 14 or 15, my connection with Allah was so strong, and the older I get, the less I seem to care. Please don’t judge me, just give me some advice. I’ve planned several times to go to a local imam and pour my heart out about what I’m feeling, but I always chicken out at the last minute because I’m scared they’ll tell someone or look down on me.