Struggling with faith: My university journey and spiritual doubts

Assalamu alaikum. I’m not here to argue, just need sincere advice from fellow Muslims who’ve felt their iman slipping. I finished my first year of uni, and it’s been rough. Back in my last year of school, I felt so close to Allah-my duas were answered, I was grateful, praying, reading Qur’an, and trying to overcome a bad habit. I made dua for good grades, but the class I worked hardest for gave me B’s. I needed top marks for my scholarship and med school dream. Then I got C’s, cried, and told myself it’s a test, but things only got worse. My friends left Islam, and I fell into deep sadness. I kept praying, but the pain didn’t stop. I started thinking, what kind of test makes you cry and beg with no relief? I even had dark thoughts about not wanting to live, feeling useless. I stopped practicing Islam, got angry at any mention of it. Yet, in my heart, I still find myself talking to Allah, almost begging for something good. Sometimes I wonder if I was just imagining His answers before, or if I’m being punished even though I barely left my room except to study. I’ve hurt someone in the past and carry regret. Now, I question things like certain hadiths about women, or why hijab is such a big deal while other sins seem overlooked. It’s made me doubt everything-does Allah even exist? I’m scared and lost. Has anyone else been through this and found their way back?