Trying to Find My Way Back to Allah After Losing Everything

Assalamu alaikum, dear brothers and sisters. I never imagined I’d be in a place where my whole world could flip upside down so fast. Just a while back, I had it all-things felt so perfect that I probably started taking them for granted. Now, though, I’ve hit the lowest point of my life. I can’t go into all the details for private reasons, but my family has been under crushing pressure, my marriage hit a rough patch, and even though my spouse and I tried hard, we haven’t been blessed with children, and nobody can tell us why. On top of that, some friends and even relatives drifted away because of false rumors about me. I started feeling like an outsider at get-togethers, so I just stopped showing up. Many nights, I break down in tears, begging Allah for His forgiveness and asking Him to bring peace and stability back. Looking back, I know I messed up. I ignored my salah for a long time, only turning to Him when I needed something or when troubles came. Back then, those troubles felt huge, but now I see they were nothing compared to this. I might have hurt people with careless words. I probably judged others for their slips, thinking I was better somehow. Now I get it-I’m no better than anyone. I’m just another flawed servant of Allah who got caught up in this dunya and forgot what truly counts. It feels like trials keep piling on, and so many days I just feel alone. The stress is even messing with my health, and I’m still young. I deeply regret my past, and every single day I ask Allah for mercy, forgiveness, and a way out of these hardships. Sometimes, I catch myself wondering why Allah is testing me like this… I know I shouldn’t compare, but from the outside, it looks like people who’ve done much worse are cruising through life. But through all this, I’ve learned just how fleeting this world is. Money, status, friends, even bonds-they can vanish in a blink. At the end, only our bond with Allah and our deen stands firm. I want to fix that bond, insha’Allah. I want to dive into the Muslim community, volunteer at the masjid, and put my deen first. But I feel so lost and don’t even know where to start. Even with family nearby, I often feel on my own. It’s like people are around when things are good, but vanish when you’re struggling. Please, dear brothers and sisters, keep me in your du’as. Sorry for the lengthy message, but I had nobody else to pour my heart out to. This has been one of the hardest chapters of my life, and I truly pray that Allah guides me, soothes my pain, forgives me, and helps me return to Him, insha’Allah.