Struggling with Hijab.. Really Thinking About Taking It Off and Feeling Lost 😔
Salam everyone. I wanted to share something that's been weighing on my heart. To give some background: nobody forced me to wear hijab. I grew up without much religion and found Islam in August 2023 alhamdulillah. Once I learned hijab is mandatory, I started wearing it in December 2023. Since embracing Islam, I've really tried to practice properly: praying all my salah, observing Ramadan, studying Quran and Tafsir, and following the sunnah as best I can. I even changed my lifestyle completely, like giving up habits that didn't align with my deen. But honestly, I've struggled with hijab every single day. Putting it on sometimes feels like a part of me is holding back. It was a huge change going from wearing whatever I wanted, like shorts and crop tops, to being fully covered. I've made sooo much dua to fall in love with it and for it to feel easier-and sometimes it has gotten a bit easier-but it's never truly felt natural. A lot of the time, I wear it out of fear of displeasing Allah (swt) and because I'd feel guilty, knowing how much He has blessed me. Right now, I just feel really down. I don't know how to stop caring about how I look or how to genuinely like wearing it. Yesterday, I decided in my heart to stop (though I still had it on), but today I'm filled with regret and confusion. I haven't even left the house yet, and the thought of going out without hijab feels so strange. If you're wondering why I'm thinking of taking it off, I'll be honest-it's mostly about appearance. I miss having my hair visible. People treat me SO differently now, not just brothers but sisters too. As a non-hijabi, I always felt people were more helpful and friendly. At work, I feel I'm taken more 'seriously' without it. It's also super inconvenient sometimes; I used to be really into sports and the gym, and now I overheat so easily. Even small things, like answering the door for a delivery or running to my car, feel like a hassle because I have to quickly put my hijab on. It just feels like a constant challenge. Any advice or kind words would mean the world to me, jazakAllah khair 😭