How do I know if this hardship after Istikhara is a sign to stop or a test to keep going?
Salam alaikum everyone, I really need some sincere advice from anyone who’s been in a similar spot or has knowledge about this. About a month ago, I met someone online with the clear intention of marriage. We kept it short and halal – no messing around. After a month, we both agreed it was time to involve our families. Before that, we each prayed Istikhara for seven days. We didn’t rely just on dreams, but during that week we both saw dreams that gave us a feeling of peace, and by the end, we truly felt ready to take the next step. He was going to talk to his dad that week so our families could meet. Then suddenly, out of nowhere, a proposal came from my cousin. The weird part is, my parents had told me before that they didn’t think he was right for me and didn’t want me to marry him. Now they’ve flipped completely and are pressuring me to say yes. They’re even talking about doing the nikah in two months. I had already rejected this cousin before I ever met the man I’m talking to now. My feelings haven’t changed. Just thinking about marrying him makes me cry nonstop. I’ve tried to force myself to accept, but my heart refuses. What’s messing with my head is that this family pressure isn’t new. It’s happened before in other situations, even before this man came into my life. So when people say, “The obstacle after Istikhara is your answer,” I don’t know how to take that. If this pressure is just a repeated pattern from my family, how do I know if it’s a sign about this specific Istikhara or just the same old struggle? The man hasn’t gone anywhere. He still wants to involve his family and says he’ll wait. We both want to do this the right way. I’m so confused. Some say obstacles mean Allah is steering me away from this marriage. Others say Istikhara isn’t about dreams or vibes – you just keep doing what’s right and trust Allah. I’m stuck in the middle. If Allah can change hearts, why do we both still feel the same after Istikhara? But if this marriage is good for us, why did everything get so hard so fast? And if the obstacle is something that’s always been there in my life, how can I be sure it’s a clear sign about this person? I’m not asking anyone to tell me he’s the one or to interpret my dreams. Only Allah knows the unseen. I just want to understand: how do you tell the difference between a test and a redirection after Istikhara? How do you not overthink every roadblock while still trusting Allah’s plan? JazakAllah khair for any sincere advice, especially from those who have studied this or gone through similar.