Is Allah punishing me, ya Rabb?
As-salamu alaykum, I need to get this off my chest. I never had real friends, not even as a kid. It's like happiness always skipped over me, and bad stuff just keeps happening. People always seem to turn mean against me, no matter what. Many have hated me, and probably still do. My whole life has been this rough, and I keep wondering... is this a punishment from Allah? Sometimes I think I must be a terrible person without even knowing it, and that's why He's punishing me. I know I messed up before, when I was little and not really aware, but now I regret those things so much. May Allah forgive me. I try hard every day to be kind, but it feels useless-like no matter what I do, people still dislike me. I don't get what's wrong with me. Will I ever find genuine friends? Will happiness finally find me? I just feel so unlovable, and it hurts. Jazakum Allahu khayran to anyone who replies with kind words ☺️ May Allah ease all our pain, Ameen.