How to deal with a racist family that made me scared to go to the masjid?
Salam everyone. I’m a revert and used to go to Jummah every week. My family is Christian and they threatened to throw me out if I became Muslim, so I kept it hidden. I’d pray when nobody was home or super late at night or early in the morning, just to be safe. Jummah was the only time I could really sneak away to pray at the masjid. Back in high school, before I reverted, I got close to a Pakistani brother from school who was Muslim. We had feelings for each other and I won’t lie, we messed up by meeting up at a park and stuff. Eventually we stopped talking for the sake of Allah, but then his parents found out about us. They said some really racist stuff to him, like "how dare you try to marry a black girl" and "I knew all black girls were like this." I wasn’t too shocked ‘cause sadly I’ve heard that kind of thing before. I live in a small town with a tiny Muslim community, and his family makes up a big part of it. It was my second Ramadan as a Muslim and my first one actually going to the masjid for iftars on Saturdays since I didn’t have family to break my fast with, and sometimes taraweeh if I had time. His family would give me strange looks and whisper about me. Even before the whole drama with his parents, I was struggling with anxiety at the masjid ‘cause I felt so out of place not knowing Arabic or their language, Urdu. So the stares and whispers just made my anxiety way worse. Every Saturday it got worse, and I even caught his little sister standing behind me looking at my phone like she was trying to see who I was texting. Eid was even harder-I felt so out of place, couldn’t even enjoy the morning because I was focused on what people were saying about me. The day after Eid, we started talking again and he told me how his family HATES seeing me at the masjid and talks so much trash about me having the nerve to show up after I "corrupted" their son. That really broke me. I felt like the ultimate outsider, too embarrassed to show my face in a place where I wasn’t even welcome. So I stopped going. Sometimes I’d try to go but I’d break down crying in the car before I could even get out, and just leave. I tried the next closest masjid 35 minutes away but it wasn’t doable. I felt so weak for letting them put so much fear and anxiety in my heart that I couldn’t even go to one of my favorite places. It’s been over a year now and I want to start going again, to rebuild my faith. What should I do?