Will Allah forgive me if I end my life?

As-salamu alaykum - I know no one can give a definite answer, I’m just looking for some reassurance and advice. I asked something like this a couple years ago, but now I’ve tried to get help - therapy and psychiatry - and things still feel overwhelming. Lately everything has been really, really hard and I’ve been holding on for about four years. I’ve been asking Allah to ease this test, and sometimes death feels like the only way out. I’ve had depression for four years and thoughts of suicide for three. My older brother used to hurt me physically, my dad has been distant, and he left last week. My mother works so hard but pushes school a lot. I had to skip 9th grade because of money, then suddenly ended up in 10th and it’s been a struggle. I think I might have ADHD - I relate to my cousin who has it - so school is extra difficult. I don’t want to be there; I want to run away and never return. Final exams are coming and I’m convinced I’ll fail, which brings back the suicidal feelings. I told my mother about my difficulties and asked about going back to 9th grade. She spoke with the school and suggested I could repeat the year if needed, so I stayed even though going back feels humiliating. I’ve sought professional help but I still feel stuck. I don’t think I’m brave enough to actually end my life, but it feels like the only escape sometimes - to have everything just stop. I’m exhausted. If anyone can share what Islamic teachings say about this, or offer dua, practical advice, or ways to get through exams and the pressure at home, I’d really appreciate it. Jazakum Allah khair.