Why Do I Feel So Heavy Even After Praying Tahajjud?

Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu. I once came across something that really stuck with me: Tahajjud is like a special gift from Allah to His slaves. A quiet moment where you can stand before Him, pour out your heart, and ask for anything. Allah tells us in the Qur’an, *Call upon Me, I will respond to you*, and we know the last part of the night is a blessed time for dua. But lately, I’ve been feeling so drained and negative, even when I pray. There’s a man I care deeply about, and I’ve been making dua for him for what feels like forever. I’ve cried in sujood, begging Allah to bring us together, to the point where I think I’ve asked for him more than I’ve ever asked for my own well-being. And I keep wondering, *Why isn’t Allah granting me this?* I know Allah sees everything in our hearts-our pain, our intentions, the struggles we can’t even put into words. I’ve made mistakes in the past, things I regret, but I never meant to hurt anyone. At the time, I didn’t realize the impact. Now, I sometimes catch myself thinking, *Has Allah not forgiven me? Am I being punished for sins I’ve already repented for?* My heart just feels restless, all the time. I pray, I make dua, but this heaviness doesn’t lift. This man has hurt me many times. He’s said things that cut deep, and I know I don’t deserve to be treated like this. I shouldn’t have to beg someone for basic respect and kindness. But despite all that, my love for him won’t fade. And that’s what bothers me most. If he’s not right for me, why can’t I move on? Why does my heart still cling to him after all the pain? Why do I keep turning to Allah with this same dua? If Allah knows he’s not my naseeb, why hasn’t He taken this love out of my heart? People might say, “Just let go,” but if I could, I would have already. It’s not that easy. I don’t want to be disrespected anymore. I don’t want to keep getting hurt or feel like I have to prove my love is real. But I also can’t fake that I’ve stopped loving him, because I haven’t. My heart just won’t listen to reason. Maybe I’m asking the wrong thing. Maybe instead of constantly begging Allah for him, I should ask Allah to give me what’s truly khair for me, even if my heart can’t understand it now. But that idea honestly scares me, because deep down, I’m still hoping that what’s best for me includes him. I really need some sincere naseeha, especially from anyone who’s been through this kind of thing. How do you handle loving someone so much while knowing the situation might just keep hurting you? How do you trust Allah’s qadr when your heart is stuck on something that might not be written for you? Please be gentle in your replies. I had shared this before somewhere else, but it got taken down before I could get much help, so I’m trying again because I genuinely need to hear something that might help me make sense of this.