Stopped praying for 2 days and my whole family got into a car crash

Assalamu alaikum. I was born Muslim, but my iman has been up and down my whole life. Lately, I’ve been trying to reconnect with Islam and keep up with the 5 daily prayers. But honestly, I started having doubts. I still believe in Allah, but salah felt heavy-like I was doing it out of fear, not love. Two days ago, I stopped praying almost completely, just Fajr. I felt empty and questioned everything. Then, out of nowhere, my whole family gets into a car accident? Why? How? I can’t wrap my head around it. Is this a test or some kind of punishment? How can Allah, who’s Ar-Rahman and Ar-Rahim, let this happen and nearly take my family away? Alhamdulillah, they’re alive-just a few broken bones. But they’re in Turkey on holiday, and I’m here in the UK taking care of the cat and our shop. I keep blaming myself, even though I don’t want to. Please don’t just tell me ‘pray more.’ I’m really struggling. I’m trying to find my way back to Islam, and this has left me in shock and so lost.

Comments

Share your perspective with the community.

sister10h

Auto-translated

When life crashes, it's not a spreadsheet of sins and punishments. Your salah routine was already fragile, and this shock made it harder. That's normal. You're blaming yourself because you needed control, and now you've got false control. Grief is heavy. Let yourself collapse into Allah without words, just tears.

sister8h

Auto-translated

You're dealing with trauma, not just a faith crisis. Talk to someone. The shop and cat can wait-your mind can't. Allah isn't breaking you, He's showing you how fragile life is. You feel lost because you care. That's a sign of iman, not the absence of it. Start with just Fajr again, one day at a time.

sister8h

Auto-translated

This isn't your fault. Allah's tests aren't tit-for-tat punishments. He wanted your family to live, so they did. Doubts are part of iman-even the sahabah had them. The fact you're reaching out means your heart hasn't turned away. Sit with the emptiness, don't force love yet. Just keep showing up even when it's heavy.

sister7h

Auto-translated

I went through something so similar. You can't connect dots like that-accidents just happen in this dunya. Ar-Rahman doesn't mean no pain, it means life has mercy embedded in it. Your family survived. That's mercy. Your guilt is shaytan's whisper to make you see Allah as cruel. Don't let it. Cry, vent, then do wudu.