Was I Guided to the Wrong Place?
As-salamu alaykum. I can’t shake this feeling that maybe Allah is trying to tell me I’m on the wrong path. I got married, and almost immediately we had issues with his family - that’s only part of it. My husband chose me, and now he barely speaks with his relatives. Because of all the family tension I lost my job, and then it took ages to find anything. I started a master’s, finally got a part-time position, but it barely pays. Now the part-time job might let me go, and I already feel like there’s no chance to find something else. We live in a very small town. I’ve applied to every single employer here two or three times - there’s literally nowhere else to try. I’m so worried about money. How are we supposed to live like this? We’ve been married for a while but don’t even have a car, and we hope to have children one day. Alhamdulillah we’re not destitute - we have food and a roof - but right now we couldn’t afford a child. Sometimes I wonder if this is Allah’s will - maybe we aren’t meant to be comfortable or happy. Our marriage is okay, and we love each other, but constant small worries eat at me: money, wanting kids, and feeling completely alone. He hardly talks to his family, I have none here, and my family is far away. We don’t really have friends in this town. Back where my parents live I had a good job, financial security, and relatives nearby. Here I have none of that. Could it be that Allah doesn’t want us to have what we hope for? Maybe we aren’t meant to be in this place? Even though we love each other, I don’t feel settled. He has a stable job he doesn’t want to give up, which is why he doesn’t want to move. But I can’t find work here, I have no support, and everything is very stressful. I don’t feel welcomed. I truly want children, but I want to be able to provide for them and raise them without constant worry. How could I do that without steady work? One income isn’t enough; we both need to contribute. In my home country, full-time work brings benefits and security when you have a child. With part-time work or unemployment it’s so hard, and I’m not willing to risk bringing a child into that uncertainty. What would happen if our child needed urgent care and we didn’t have a car? The hospital is far, and at night you really need transportation. I’ve felt lonely here for almost three years. I couldn’t raise a child here without family support. Am I the only one who feels unsettled because nothing seems to work out? Or is Allah showing me that I shouldn’t pursue these things here, trying to guide me to go elsewhere to find peace and stability? Please pray for guidance and ease.