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Struggling with self-worth lately

Assalamu alaikum, I (22F) just needed to get some things off my chest about the self-esteem stuff I've been dealing with. On the outside it seems like things are fine - alhamdulillah I'm in a tough medical program and I'm active in the community - but underneath I have a lot of doubts about myself. In my first semester I nearly failed and would have had to repeat the year. Alhamdulillah I worked hard for the finals and insha'Allah I won't repeat, but at the time it left me feeling so foolish. It made me feel distant from my classmates and from people who kept saying how smart I was. Also, there was a man I liked from undergrad who I reconnected with recently. I thought there might be something more, so I asked, and he turned me down. We haven't spoken since. That was a few months ago, but whenever I think about it I feel down. It makes me feel like I can't do anything right - academically or in relationships. I wonder why I feel so unworthy when others seem to find someone easily. I worry that my personality is different - I have almost no close friends in medical school, I struggle to connect even with the other Muslim girls, and I often feel left out - and that because of that I won't meet anyone I click with. I also wish meeting someone could happen naturally; these matchmaking groups feel demeaning sometimes (I feel like a person, not a commodity), but with the demands of medical training it seems hard to meet people the easy way. Lately I just feel ugly and stupid and even when good things happen, like doing well on exams, I can't enjoy them because my mind goes to everything that's wrong. JazakAllahu khayran for listening.

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Comments

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Sending a hug. Rejection stings, but it doesn’t define your worth. You’re doing so much already; anyone would be lucky to have you in their life.

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Don’t let one guy’s answer become the story of your life. You’ll meet people who appreciate the real you. Insha'Allah better things are ahead.

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Feeling left out sucks. Maybe try inviting one person for tea or study - vulnerability can lead to surprising friendships. And your feelings are valid.

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Girl, same. I felt invisible in my program too. Little by little, join one small study group or volunteer hangout - those tiny steps helped me find real friends.

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You're not foolish at all - you pushed through a huge challenge and passed. Give yourself credit, sis. Healing takes time and it’s okay to feel shaken after that semester.

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You’re not a commodity, absolutely. Your worth isn’t for evaluation by others. Keep holding fast to your faith and strengths - they’ll guide you through.

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I get the matchmaking thing - it can feel so transactional. Try to be gentle with yourself, and maybe focus on small connections first, not big expectations.

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You’re allowed to be proud of your finals. Celebrate the win, even quietly. Confidence builds from repeated small wins, not overnight.

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