Struggling with my relationship with my mother - need advice, assalamu alaikum

Assalamu alaikum. This is a bit hard to put into words, but I’m looking for some guidance on how to handle this. I have a strained relationship with my mother. A little background: I’m a survivor of rape, and on top of that I’ve been harassed and assaulted by another person. That’s made me very sensitive and I’ve always longed for maternal care and protection. My parents never had an easy marriage, and when they used to fight I would step in for my mother. I even think that sometimes made things harder between my father and me. Lately, over the past five years or so, my mother’s behavior toward me has felt very different and painful. Some examples: - She hides my makeup and lip glosses and won’t let me use them, yet she uses my things. - She rarely gives me a compliment; I can’t remember the last time she praised me. - She objects strongly when I wear her clothes. Once I asked to wear a new sweater to a friend’s gathering; she texted me (which I didn’t see) and later called only to tell me not to ruin it. I’m careful with clothes and have never ruined anything, but asking to borrow her things often becomes a fight, so I’ve stopped asking. We’re the same size, so it’s awkward. - She copies what I do. For example, before a wedding she picked up the eyeshadow I was using and applied it herself even though I warned it might mess her makeup. - She often blames me when things go wrong. - She accuses me of turning my father against her, though I don’t; I used to intervene, but now I don’t tell my father about what happens between us. - On her birthday I planned something for her, but later she stopped talking to me, said things like “this is all I get on my birthday,” and slapped me when I told her I didn’t understand her behavior. - After a meeting with a potential spouse, I came home to find her silently crying; she didn’t explain why. - She doesn’t speak to me gently or give motherly hugs, though she does make sure I get my morning tea and looks after me when I’m sick. - She appears to favor my siblings. For example, when I was saving money for treatment for a back issue, she asked me to spend that money to throw a birthday party for my sister before she left to study abroad. There’s more I haven’t written down. The main thing is that when my mother accuses me of small things-losing something or being careless-my anxiety skyrockets. I tend to go silent and throw myself into work so I won’t have to sit with her. I don’t want to be disrespectful, but I also don’t know how to protect myself emotionally or how to ask for what I need from her without making things worse. Any advice on setting gentle boundaries, seeking support within Islamic guidance, or approaching her in a way that might help would mean a lot. JazakAllahu khair.