Struggling to keep wearing the hijab - need guidance

As-salamu alaykum, I’ve been wearing hijab since I was 13. It was easy back then living in a Muslim Gulf country, especially since a few friends started wearing it around the same time. My shock came about 5 years later when I moved back to my home country - still Muslim, but less conservative (Jordan, btw). In my first year of uni I saw a lot of non-hijabis and even the hijabis dressed up a lot, and I didn’t know how to do that. During uni is when I really started hating the hijab, because I felt like even in a Muslim country people treated non-hijabis better in some ways. Maybe it’s my own insecurity, but whenever I’m wearing hijab I can’t shake this feeling of insecurity and ugliness. I’m 25 and I feel like I barely moved forward in life because I kept telling myself I’ll take it off someday and that’s when my real life will start. I’m honestly lost. I also hate being part of the hijabi community sometimes because of how some men look at us and what hijab seems to mean to them. The men around me made me dislike it even more. I hate feeling like I’m some secret to hide - it feels gross. I also hate how Muslim women are treated and how marriages can be abusive a lot of the time. I love pure Islam though, without all the sheikh nonsense. I’m conflicted and really need guidance - may Allah show me the right way. I think the main reason I want to take it off is to distance myself from the toxic cultural stuff in my country and just breathe and be myself for once.