Sometimes, all I want is to feel close to Allah and just let my tears flow.

I'm feeling so lost right now-like I don't have a clear direction in my life. Whenever I pour my heart into something, I start to wonder: Is this genuine enthusiasm, or am I just getting too attached? How can I tell if a certain path isn't meant for me, even when I'm giving it my all? And how do I figure out what's truly beneficial for me versus what isn't? How do I recognize when I need to work on myself, or when I should push a little harder... or maybe even step back? Honestly, I'm just exhausted by it all-this general weariness of life. Before anyone suggests the usual steps, I've already tried so much with little to show for it. I've increased my sunnah prayers, consistently recited Surah Al-Baqarah, and turned to istikhara for guidance. Yet, nothing seems to change, or maybe I'm just not seeing it. I've done everything I can think of, and it's not that my life is unbearable, but whenever I strive for something, the outcome often leaves me disheartened, even after repeated efforts and prayers. I just wish I knew what I'm doing wrong to end up feeling this way.