Living with Non-Stop Pain and Struggling to Keep Faith

Assalamu alaikum everyone. For about two years now, I’ve been dealing with two health issues that have pretty much turned my life upside down. I have Eustachian Tube Dysfunction (ETD) and Patulous Eustachian Tube (PET), plus TMJ. I developed these back in college after losing 50 pounds quickly from working out, and then my ears started hurting when I wore AirPods. It never got better, and soon I couldn't use earphones at all and became super sensitive to sounds. From there, everything just went downhill. I’ve seen so many doctors and specialists, but all I ever hear is to drink more water and use nasal spray, which hasn’t helped. I can’t exercise, listen to steady low sounds, or handle bass without making things worse. Trying to lose weight feels impossible because it might increase the pain. The constant throbbing in my head makes it hard to think or focus, and I ended up having to leave college. It’s been driving me insane, and I had to start taking antidepressants because I kept thinking about how peaceful it would be if everything just stopped and this pain went away. I’m Muslim, and though I don’t pray regularly, I do try sometimes. I know hurting yourself is haram, but I can’t help wondering why Allah would give me this trial when I was just trying to improve my life. Every day, I wake up and take four different medications that don’t mix well, but I have no other choice. No one around me really understands how unbearable this is. Yesterday, I hit my breaking point and just cried out to Allah, asking why He’s letting me go through this. If He knows how I feel, why has this agony lasted almost two years? I just turned 21, and I can’t even remember the last time I could think clearly without pain. I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy. I don’t know why I’m sharing this... maybe it’s just out of desperation. Jazakum Allahu khayran for listening.