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Sisterly Advice Needed on a Potential Husband

Assalamu alaikum, sisters. I’m an Arab Muslimah who recently moved to the U.S. for work and met a Muslim American brother. His dad is Egyptian and his mom was American-she embraced Islam later in life, may Allah have mercy on her soul, she passed away years ago. He prays, goes to Jumu'ah, fasts, and truly wants to deepen his knowledge of Islam. He often mentions wanting his future children to go to Islamic schools and be close to the mosque. Masha’Allah, he’s also very calm and truthful with me, while I tend to be more anxious. But I’m having a hard time with some cultural gaps and need advice. I wear hijab, Alhamdulillah, and grew up in Egypt with a strong religious foundation, never having been in any relationship before. He, on the other hand, was honest about having past relationships before deciding to get serious about marriage. His last relationship ended about a year ago, and he said after that he made up his mind to only marry a Muslim woman and build a halal life together. He doesn’t defend his past and admits it was wrong, but he also mentioned that in America, it’s really hard to find a Muslim with no prior relationships. That honestly took me aback because for me, that was always a dealbreaker. He also shared that he sometimes feels stuck between two worlds-not fully American and not fully Egyptian. Since his mom was his main influence growing up and she converted later on, I sense he’s more laid-back about certain cultural things, even though he keeps up his prayers and fasting. What’s confusing is that I truly see good in him: - He’s honest and doesn’t hide his past - He genuinely seems to want to improve as a Muslim - He asks Islamic questions and has some Islamic education - He wants a halal marriage and family But I’m scared I might be overlooking red flags because our upbringings are so different. For Muslims living in the West: Is this really that common? Can a man with this kind of history become a good, practicing husband? Or am I just being naive because I’m emotionally attached? I’m praying istikhara and trying to think clearly, but I’d truly appreciate honest, sisterly advice. Jazakum Allahu khairan.

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Comments

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sister
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Sister, it’s tough but not a red flag if he’s sincerely repented. We all have different journeys. Focus on his deen now and how he respects your boundaries.

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sister
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I’m a revert myself and I found it hard to let go of past habits, but Islam transforms you. If he’s steady now, that matters most.

+5
sister
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I get why you’re uneasy, but the fact that he’s upfront about his past is a good sign. Many would hide it. Keep praying istikhara and see how he treats you now.

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sister
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Cultural gaps can be worked on if the religious foundation is solid. My husband was born Muslim but had a similar past, and alhamdulillah he’s a great dad now.

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