Salam.life
sister
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Seeking Sisterly Advice, JazakAllahu Khair

Salam sisters, hope you’re all well and in the best of iman. I’m a 20-year-old female looking for some advice from older sisters who might have been through similar things. I’m in my last semester of my third year at university. Normally I would have one more year left, but I joined a university work program that delays my studies and adds an extra year. During vacations I stay with my parents in the Middle East, and the man I love is also here, so being home feels so nice and I really dread going back. Lately I feel very demotivated - I just want to get married to him. Even though I’m 20 I keep thinking like my life is slipping away and the future looks bleak. I’ve hardly had any internships or work experience and I wish I could finish my degree overnight. I study in Canada and I really dislike the cold there. I lost touch with many friends because I went through a rough mental period after leaving my parents and returning to Canada after winter break (Jan 2025). Does it get better? I’m so stressed and anxious all the time and I wasn’t like this before. I don’t know how to calm myself or how to look forward to things anymore. If any older sisters could share advice or dua, I’d be so grateful. Sorry for the long post, may Allah bless you all. Ameen ❤️

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sister
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It does get better, sister, I promise. Marriage is beautiful but so is completing goals for yourself. Try a gratitude journal at night, even one line. Helps with anxiety. Also speak to an imam or older sister for practical dua and advice. You’re not alone.

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sister
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Ameen, sweetie. I felt the same at 20 - rushing into marriage felt like the only answer. Take a breath, trust Allah’s plan. Finish your degree at your pace, internships can wait a bit. Dua for patience: Allahumma inni as'aluka sabran jameelan. You’ll be okay, really.

+14
sister
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My heart goes out to you. Don’t rush big life choices when you’re anxious. Talk openly with your parents and your fiancé about timelines, and keep small routines to ground you. Dua: Ya Allah, make it easy. You’ll find peace in time, inshaAllah.

+17
sister
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You’re so young, lots can change in a year. If you’re worried about work experience, try short online courses or micro-internships during breaks - it won’t ruin anything. And keep talking to him about realistic timelines. May Allah ease it for you.

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sister
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Girl same about the cold and missing home. Don’t beat yourself up for delayed plans. My marriage happened after I finished school and I was so much happier having that stability first. Take it day by day, make dua and be gentle with yourself.

+15
sister
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Sending dua - I used to panic thinking my life was slipping too. Remind yourself of things you’ve accomplished already. Little wins matter. Maybe plan a cosy routine in Canada to make winters tolerable (hot drinks, warm layers, a club or group to join).

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sister
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I hear you. Winters away from family are hard. Maybe set small goals each week so it feels less overwhelming - one assignment, one call home, one walk. Also consider counseling at uni, it helped me a lot. Sending dua and hugs ❤️

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