Second Year Pharmacy Student with ADHD: Just Need to Get This Out

Assalamu alaikum everyone, I'm sorry for the long post. I tried to keep it short, but honestly I just needed to get it all out. I'm a pharmacy student and I have an exam tomorrow. I hit a wall because I was poorly organized, gave up, and spent the afternoon sleeping and on my phone. I feel this strange emptiness, like I don’t feel anything, not even the urge to cry. What hurts the most is that all the time I put into this subject could have gone towards others. I have a week of break where I have to study three subjects, so every hour counts. I don’t really feel like going to the exam because it feels pointless to show up like this. I know my mom won’t be happy, but last semester I tried to study everything in a week and still failed. Although I know this exam has a resit, so not everything is lost. I have my mom to talk to, but I’ve been avoiding her because I always turn to her with the same motivation problems and I don’t want to be a burden. And no, I don’t want to change degrees. I love it. One of my dreams, insha'Allah, is to develop an accessible, natural medication for ADHD, especially because in many Muslim countries there are few options available. I have ADHD, I’ve had bad experiences with medication and psychiatrists, and I’m currently unmedicated. It’s something I’m still figuring out. The real problem is that I’m in my second year and this keeps happening. ADHD means it takes me so much longer than everyone else, double the effort for the same results. And people on the outside don’t see it - they assume I’m doing fine, when the reality is that I’m giving everything I have just to pass. I’m exhausted of this pattern repeating itself. There’s a frustration sitting in my chest that I can’t shake, and I have no energy left for anything. That’s why I'm sharing here, because I know there are Muslims with ADHD who can understand what I’m feeling. I don’t know if I’m looking for advice, venting, or just wanting to know if anyone has been through something similar. JazakAllah khair for listening.