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1 month ago

Salaam - Need advice on dealing with my brother's dangerous behavior

Assalamu alaikum. I hope this is okay to post; if not I’ll remove it. Content warning for mentions of violent and abusive behavior. My brother (30) wasn't raised practicing and still doesn't really follow the deen; he picks and chooses things and I worry he's worse than those loud self-styled “dawah” types. After a messy divorce he’s become bitter toward women and seems obsessed with “teaching women a lesson.” He uses even small conversations to try to dominate, humiliate, and insult us. Lately he’s been more and more disrespectful. He watches those “feminist gets owned”-type clips and copies the talking points. He fabricates or exaggerates conversations where he claims to have put women in their place - I know these never happened. He lies constantly, inventing an alternate version of events where the other person is always the villain. I avoid him as much as possible but he invades my space and if I say anything he explodes with the worst verbal abuse I’ve heard. I’m also worried it’s getting physically threatening. He yells, twists the story, and though he hasn’t struck anyone, he raises his hand like he might and uses his size to intimidate - cornering me or pushing me against a wall so I can’t leave until he’s done yelling. I think my independence bothers him and he feels he must humble me. I’m his little sister and he has no right to treat me this way. On top of that he has a serious pornography problem and follows explicit accounts, even scrolling through nudes in front of me and using my tablet to watch that content. He’s about to get married and I’m really worried for the woman who will have to deal with this. I don’t feel safe speaking at home. What can I do? Just stay silent or lock myself in my room forever? Please, any practical advice or duas would be appreciated. JazakAllahu khair.

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