Please keep me in your dua - struggling but trying to return to Allah

Assalamu alaikum brothers and sisters, Hope you are well inshaAllah. This is a long post, sorry - I just needed somewhere to get this out. I’ve tried to be concise but there’s a lot to say. I’m 29 and for most of my life I wasn’t practicing or consistent with prayer. A couple years ago I started learning more and tried to pray, but I didn’t keep it up - I let life become an excuse, and I know now that wasn’t right. Lately I’ve been making a renewed effort to pray, make duas, and do dhikr. My life began getting difficult around 16–17. My family lost their savings because of my father and his side of the family. I began working full time to help my mother with rent and bills. I couldn’t even keep small amounts of money and wondered if I would ever go back to school or get a better job. I grew up in a country where most people around me weren’t practicing Muslims. When I was young I got into a relationship that turned physically abusive. I was manipulated and hurt. I clearly remember being choked and thinking I might die - I called out to Allah in my heart like never before. That moment made my faith stronger and I realized Allah had protected me. I moved far away for university to save myself and to continue my education. I did two years of college, then started university. I had to change degrees a couple times because I racked up debt and couldn’t keep up while working. I worked 12-hour days to pay rent and tuition, often studying without attending classes. I got some help from home briefly, but mostly I had to support myself. I haven’t finished my degree yet but I’m trying, though it’s slower because of work and money problems. I dated again for five years and that ended too. Afterward I tried to immerse myself in learning about Islam and praying, but I couldn’t maintain it consistently. I later found a better job before finishing school and moved again, hoping to recover from heartbreak. I’m still doing school online, but life hasn’t become easier. I always feel alone. My dream was to grow up, get married, and have a loving family. My mother did her best but had little, and my father focused on his own life; neither had elders to guide them, so I don’t blame them. Growing up without stable love made me fixate on marriage. Because I was distant from Islamic practice and influenced by western culture, I made mistakes like living with partners. I worked hard in those relationships - I didn’t lie, I did all the housework and cooked while studying and working - hoping it would bring happiness. But my efforts weren’t valued and those relationships still ended. I’ve learned that only Allah can truly help me, and I’m trying to keep up my obligations. I also found out I have ADHD, which explained why many normal things were so hard. I lost my job this year; I’m grateful to be away from a place where I was overworked and treated poorly because of not being white. I went on employment insurance and took months to recover from burnout, but now the person I’m living with broke the lease and wants to move, so I might be forced to leave. Even though EI covers rent, it’s been hard to find a new place that will accept it. I need a new job but after eight years in retail management I don’t know how to switch careers and make similar pay - the income just barely covers living, rent, and tuition. I’m scared of returning to the same field because I’m kind and try to support my team, and in bigger cities people took advantage of that. I need to finish school in the next two years because my program was cancelled and I must transfer, but I also need income and a home. I have about $50,000 in student debt from a degree I couldn’t finish. I still don’t have someone who loves me like the families I see around me. I don’t see prospects for marriage at the moment. I’m trying to pray regularly but ADHD makes it easy to forget sometimes. I’ve had an idea to start a small online business - if I’m good at helping others make money, maybe I can do it for myself. I only need about $3–5k to start small, but I don’t have savings; just surviving has used every penny. Two years ago I learned that Allah tests those He loves and that everything can be for the best. I try to hold onto that, but after more than a decade of struggle it’s hard to stay positive. I’ve been and maybe still am severely depressed. I’ve thought about suicide many times but I can’t do it because I fear Allah and the Hereafter. I try to be grateful, look at those worse off, and give what charity I can. I worry my sins - dating, small lies - brought these hardships. I see others who don’t practice yet seem blessed, and I feel unlucky. If you can spare a dua or any advice I would be so grateful. Please make dua that I become a better Muslim, continue back on the path to Allah, find a way out of homelessness, have courage, complete my studies, and find lawful provision and a good spouse. JazākAllāhu Khayr for reading and for any duas. Please remember me in your prayers.