My Heart Feels Heavy - Please Keep Us in Your Duas
Asalamu Alaikum everyone. I hope you are all doing well. I’m not looking for advice, just kindly asking for your duas. I’m not sure if this is the right place to share something so personal, and I really hope there’s no harsh judgment. I’m going through a hard time and my heart feels so heavy. Part of me thinks he might read this, and a small part hopes he does. I’m 26F and he’s 27M. We were friends for a long time, and somewhere along the way I fell in love with him. I never said anything at first because I kept my feelings to myself. Meeting in person made everything feel real, and I allowed myself to hope he might feel the same. I know some might say this was wrong, but please no judgment - I’m just sharing my heart. My feelings ran deep, but I think his stayed more surface-level. He gave mixed signals and lots of excuses, but we still tried. Things seemed okay until pressure came in, and then he pulled away. I wish that pressure hadn’t come, because maybe we could’ve kept growing. It broke me in ways I can’t explain and left me asking why - why I felt unlovable, why he couldn’t commit, why I wasn’t enough when I would have done everything to love and support him. I still wonder if he’ll come back. Through all this pain I’ve grown closer to my Lord, alhamdulillah. Even when my heart feels torn, my prayers and my deen are what keep me steady. My duas give me comfort. Sometimes I even see kind dreams about him, and after making dua my heart does feel a little lighter, though I often start my prayers in tears. I believe he felt something real too, even if he struggled. I notice signs of someone who gets avoidant and overwhelmed. Insha’Allah he returns to me, and insha’Allah Allah makes us each other’s naseeb. He’s a wonderful man, and I truly think we were similar enough to make things work. I never wanted anything from him but respect and loyalty - that’s what love is to me. I will always love him. I know a stranger’s dua can help, so please, if you can, make dua for us to be reunited in the most beautiful halal way, and for us to not be separated again. If you’d like me to make a dua for you, please leave it in the comments. And if you have any specific duas or actions I should take to ask Al-Fattah to open the doors, please share them. JazakAllah khair for reading and for any duas you make on our behalf.