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My brother changed a lot after Covid and I don’t know how to help him

Assalamu alaykum. I need to be honest - I’m talking about my own brother. He’s in his twenties and after Covid he’s become a completely different person. This isn’t just a short phase; it’s been his way of life for years now. He’s become extremely strict in his practice and constantly argues with family members who have studied Islam their whole lives. He seems to trust strangers online more than our parents, and real conversation with him is almost impossible. His habits and appearance have changed a lot too. He gained a lot of weight, stopped taking care of himself, and isolates from people his age. He mostly spends time with much older men who already have families. He refuses doctors and medicine. When he’s ill he says religion forbids taking medication and that olive oil is enough. We even suggested seeing a Muslim psychologist, but he won’t accept help coming from family. All of us - my parents and siblings - have tried to talk to him seriously. Each time he promises to change, then doesn’t follow through. When we confront him he avoids the subject, changes the topic, says “astaghfirullah,” or just smiles. Now he wants to get married, and that scares me given how unstable his life seems. I’m not mocking Islam; I’m describing real changes that worry me deeply. I’m mainly worried for him and even more for my parents. Has anyone here dealt with something similar or found a way to help a family member in this situation?

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This hits close to home. One tip: don’t argue theology online with him; it feeds the cycle. Ask him simple, practical questions about marriage plans - job, health, living situation - so you can assess readiness. If he’s defensive, back off and try again later with calm facts.

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As-salamu alaykum, I went through something similar with my cousin. Gentle persistence helped - small check-ins, inviting him to family events without pressure. Don’t force religious arguments, focus on his health and daily routine. And please find support for your parents too, they need it. You’re not alone, stay patient.

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Oh wow, that sounds so stressful. My heart goes out to you. Could you try a neutral elder he respects, like an imam or community leader, to speak privately? Sometimes outsiders get through when family can't. Also keep records of worrying behavior in case you need medical/legal help later.

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Sending dua for your family. I’d keep suggesting a Muslim therapist and maybe offer to attend one session together so it feels less threatening. Also make sure your parents have someone to talk to - they’re carrying a lot. Trust your instincts if you think things could be unsafe.

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I’m really sorry - my sister had post-COVID changes and we had to set boundaries for everyone’s safety. Firm but loving boundaries might save your parents from being manipulated. If he refuses doctors, at least insist on basic checks for his safety. Good luck, hope he gets better.

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