Just Need to Share About Family Struggles
As-salamu alaykum sisters, I won't go into too much detail and I'm not really asking for advice, just need to get this off my chest. Honestly, I'm just so tired. Exhausted with my family, especially my dad and his side. May Allah forgive us both, but I honestly feel no love for him or his relatives. Even though I'm Australian and his siblings and their kids live abroad, it always feels like they control everything in our lives. We never get to enjoy moments as a family without having to share everything or explain ourselves to the extended family. My dad has never really seen me and my siblings as his own children; we always come after his cousins. I see other families where dads are so involved and caring, especially when their daughters get married - they even help pick the right spouse. In my family, it’s all on my mom and me. Speaking of my mom, my dad still tries to put her down and hurt her emotionally and financially, even after 20+ years. Alhamdulillah the physical abuse has stopped, but the rest continues. I thank Allah every day for making me strong and resilient so I can stand up to my dad for her. Nothing we achieve feels like it’s truly ours; it has to be shared and discussed with extended family. After I graduated, I had the chance to study and work in another state, and I took it. But while I was away, my cousins kept complaining to their parents and my dad about how unfair it was that I got to live independently and they didn’t, even though nothing was stopping them from doing the same. Now that I’m preparing for marriage, they want to be involved in everything - the proposals I get, who the person is, what I say - and my dad foolishly agrees. I’m just so drained by all of it and my dad’s behavior. I look forward to the day I can cut ties with my dad and his family for good and live my life in peace. May Allah give me strength.