Jazakillahu Khairan, my sisters 🩷

As-salamu alaykum sisters, I wanted to say thank you for the kind words when I was spiralling about feeling unmarriageable. I don’t actually believe I’m unmarriageable - I’m just dealing with a bunch of things at the moment and the other day they overwhelmed me and I was unnecessarily harsh on myself. I’m grateful for these challenges in a way, because a few months ago I made dua to be in a better place. Back then I would’ve done anything to have what I have now, and I know so many people would love to be where I am. When I’m thinking clearly I really can’t complain. Loneliness still hits sometimes. It’s hard to see women my age or younger in serious relationships or marriage and wonder if I’ll ever have a husband to come home to, to love and be loved by. My heart flutters when someone my age mentions her husband - I don’t want to feel that pang, but it comes. I don’t think this means I’m centring men. I want companionship - someone to share life with in ways others can’t - but because I put Allah first I’ll be patient and wait. If marriage isn’t meant for me, that will be a bitter pill to swallow, but for Allah’s sake I’ll accept it because I love Him. And if it is meant to happen, I’ll thank Allah every day for answering years of dua. Centring men would mean making them your whole life, leaving family and friends, or disobeying Allah for them. I have dear friendships with sisters I cherish, I study in a field I enjoy, I work a job I like on weekends, and I try to learn more about Islam so I can be a better Muslimah - I’m not perfect, but I’m trying. Wanting a husband and feeling sad sometimes that you don’t have one yet is normal; it doesn’t mean you’ve lost your priorities. Even if I didn’t reply to each message, I read them and they stuck with me. I didn’t agree with every single comment, but I appreciate the well-intentioned sisters who reached out when I was struggling. So thank you so much - may Allah grant you the best of this dunya and the highest ranks of Jannah, Ameen 🩷