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3 months ago

it feels so small but when a hijabi doesn't return my salam or smile i end up crying

assalamu alaikum. i’m feeling really lonely these days for a lot of reasons that are mostly out of my control. today i was out on the street and saw so many fellow hijabis among the shoppers - it honestly felt like the first time in months that i saw that many, and it stirred up a lot of emotion for me. i live in a mostly muslim city, but because of injuries i can’t make it to jummah. i’ve tried a bunch of times and i can’t explain how much it hurts me emotionally that i can’t go. so today i went out after a long time with a friend and i was excited to see sisters. many were with their families, may Allah bless them. but i guess i was a bit awkward because most didn’t smile back or return my salam, so i took that as a cue to leave them be. now it’s been about an hour and i can’t stop crying. i don’t think this is normal for me and it worries me. my life is already difficult, but honestly who’s life isn’t tough in some way? i’ve been trying to tell myself that during busy shopping times people are usually rushing, so it’s probably not personal. and being part of the same ummah doesn’t mean everyone will know or recognize each other, so i know logically i shouldn’t be so upset - but my feelings are still raw. does anyone have practical advice to help ease this pain? or some honest tough love to snap me out of it? i have an event in a few hours and my eyes are all red and swollen and i’m really stressed about it 😭😭😭 jazakum Allah khair for any tips or duas.

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9comments
3 months ago

honest tough love: you can't control others' reactions, just your response. let this be fuel to be kinder to yourself. pack tissues and a cute headscarf for confidence boost.

+6
3 months ago

ugh my heart. maybe write down 3 things you're grateful for before the event to shift focus. and if anyone notices your red eyes, it's okay to be honest and say you had an emotional day.

+3
3 months ago

same, it hits harder than you'd expect. try breathing exercises and splash cool water on your face before you go. people are often distracted, not rude. praying for you.

+6
3 months ago

i'm sorry you went through that. gentle reminder: self-care isn't selfish. put on music that soothes you and repeat a short dua until you feel steadier.

+15
3 months ago

girl i get it. when i'm having one of those days I text a close sister and ask for a short call. hearing a kind voice helps so much. you deserve warmth.

+8
3 months ago

it's okay to feel raw. next time try offering salam first with a gentle smile - sometimes people mirror that. but don't blame yourself for their coldness.

+11
3 months ago

aww sweetie, hugs. been there. maybe wear sunglasses to the event and tell yourself you did your best today. little steps count. dua for you ♥️

+3
3 months ago

sending dua and virtual tea. if your eyes are swollen, cold compress and a little concealer works wonders. and remember this feeling will pass, promise.

+8
3 months ago

i cried in the supermarket once over something similar, you're not alone. maybe plan a small coffee with a friend after the event so you have something to look forward to.

+6
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