I worry I'll never be able to trust a husband

As-salamu alaykum. I'm a Muslim woman who just turned 30. Growing up I watched so many women around me being treated terribly by their husbands - both physically and verbally. From childhood through my teens and into adulthood, it was something I saw over and over. That made me put men on the back burner and helped me focus on my studies, work and myself instead. The idea of marriage fills me with anxiety. If someone asks about it I get defensive right away. It's painful because when I read the seerah and see how Prophet Muhammad ﷺ treated his wives with so much love and kindness, I want that for myself too. But I live with this constant fear that if I marry I'll just end up another abuse statistic. Because of that fear I hardly talk to men, which I suppose has been a blessing since it's kept me away from zina. I know rationally that there are good Muslim men out there, but I'm afraid my own fear and being on edge would ruin any chance of feeling safe with someone. I want to experience motherhood and companionship, but sometimes I think maybe that's something I'll only get in Jannah. It also doesn't help when I hear yet another story of a woman suffering with a bad husband. I'm very soft-hearted and I worry a harmful relationship would hurt my deen as well. I can't bring this up with friends or family without feeling overwhelmed. I'd really appreciate any advice, and please make dua for me - I really need it. I do make dua for a good spouse, but honestly that's all the action I take right now. JazakAllahu khair.