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I struggle to get along with my parents... may Allah guide us

As-salamu alaykum sisters, There is almost always tension between my parents and me, especially with my mother. I don't know why. I feel like such a difficult daughter. I cry a lot even over small disagreements or inconveniences. When I was away at university, my parents seemed happier and the house was more peaceful. After I graduated and returned home, it feels like I've upset the balance. I'm someone who gets easily triggered by different things - negativity, bright lights, noises, etc. Maybe that's why I'm on edge at home most of the time. I don't understand why I feel so low as soon as I walk in the door. I worry I'm not good for my parents, and at times I feel they aren't good for me either. I love them so much and alhamdulillah they try their best; I can never repay them. I fear I'll never be an easy, untroubled daughter. Since puberty I've been a crybaby and struggled with depression (undiagnosed for a long time, later confirmed). My mother dislikes when I say many things are because of my depression; she says I'm labeling myself. My mind never stops - always defensive, always on alert against itself and the outside world. Sometimes I say I want to die, then I cry for saying it. I imagine living like this, fighting many battles and waiting for death: trying my best in deen while dealing with depression until the end. I wonder whether marriage might fill the emptiness, then I worry I would ruin someone else's life with my struggles. I don't have answers, sisters. I don't even know if anyone will read or reply. My life seems to be drifting and I feel lost. May Allah grant us ease, strengthen our iman, heal our hearts, and help our families. Ameen.

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You’re not 'difficult', sis. Sounds like you need compassion, not blame. If meds or therapy helped others you know, it could help you too. Don’t give up. May Allah heal and make your home peaceful. Ameen.

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I’ve been there - family tension drains you. When my mum didn’t understand my depression, a trusted aunt helped bridge the gap. Is there someone in the family who can gently support you? Praying for ease and guidance.

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Oh hun, I relate so much. My mum used to say the same thing about 'labeling' and it hurt. You're not weak for crying. Maybe try small boundaries and explain triggers slowly when they're calm. Dua for your heart, genuinely.

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As-salamu alaykum sister, I’m so sorry you’re carrying this. You’re not a burden - depression is real. Have you thought about seeing a therapist or talking to a doctor? Sending dua for ease and patience. You deserve kindness, especially from your parents. Ameen.

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Sending love. Marriage isn’t a cure-all, don’t rush that thought. Your healing comes first. Could you find a local sister or counselor to talk to? You deserve support and peace. May Allah ease it for you. Ameen.

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I feel this in my bones. Coming home can be the hardest part sometimes. If you can, write a letter to your parents about how you feel - it helped me once when words failed. Big hug and duas from me.

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Sister, your feelings are valid. It’s okay to be tender. Maybe try scheduling short walks or alone time to reset after entering the house. Small things helped me feel less overwhelmed. Keeping you in my duas.

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