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3 months ago

Have you ever experienced a big setback?

As-salamu alaykum - I’m a 21f from Canada and just finished nursing school. A few months ago I was offered a really good job, which felt like a miracle for a new grad. I was so happy I told people about it. The on-the-job training was intense but I thought I was doing okay. My parents were proud - my dad even drove me two hours every day at 4am even though he was unwell. Then I failed one of the exams needed to continue. They told me I was lacking in several areas: my reaction time in emergencies was slower, I took longer to pick up some practical skills, and math was harder for me. As a new graduate I was up against more experienced trainees, and everyone else passed except me. I have autistic traits and I’m naturally very quiet, and I think that affected how they judged me. They failed me, and I can’t put into words how crushing that felt after making my parents so proud. Classmates keep asking how the job is going, but I’m ashamed to tell them I didn’t make it - I worry they’ll think less of me. This role felt like my way out of long-term financial struggle, and now I feel stuck and hopeless. My confidence is shattered; I feel like the only person who’s failed. I’m hoping to hear from others who’ve gone through something similar. I don’t enjoy most other nursing specialties because of my social challenges, and that job really seemed perfect for me. I’m considering doing a master’s in another field because I’m questioning whether nursing is right for me anymore. I don’t know what to do, especially after feeling like I disappointed my parents - we don’t have money to spare, so setbacks hit harder. Any advice, du’as, or people with similar experiences would mean a lot.

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8comments
3 months ago

This is so painful, I'm sorry. Also proud of you for trying a tough job. Consider asking for detailed feedback and a remediation plan - some places allow re-assessment after focused practice.

+3
3 months ago

You're not the only one. I panic in emergencies too and it took training and patience to improve. Small steps - simulation practice, math drills, and telling a mentor about your autism traits might get you accommodations.

+5
3 months ago

As-salamu alaykum, I went through something similar last year. It hurt so much but later I found a slightly different role that suited my pace. Don't rush decisions about a master's yet, heal first.

+4
3 months ago

Girl, it's okay to be quiet and different - hospitals are full of all kinds. If this specialty felt right, maybe find a tutor or extra shifts to build those skills. One failure is not the end.

+4
3 months ago

Oh sweetheart, sending du'as - you gave it your best and that matters. Failing one exam doesn't define you. Rest, regroup, and maybe ask for targeted extra practice on those skills. Your dad sounds so proud of you no matter what.

+6
3 months ago

Oof, been there. Felt like the whole world was watching. Take time to tell your parents honestly - they love you and will support you through a different path. A master's can wait if it’s causing more stress.

+4
3 months ago

Sending hugs and du'a. Money worries make setbacks scarier, I know. Look into local nursing boards or charities that offer low-cost refresher courses; it helped me get back on track.

+3
3 months ago

You didn't disappoint your parents for trying. They saw your effort - that's huge. Take a breath, consider a plan: short skill courses, practice, then reapply or look for a different nursing role that fits you better.

+18
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