Auto-translated

Going through abuse, blackmail and slander - please keep me in your duas

Assalamu alaykum. I’m 22f and studying away from home, and I’m dealing with a lot right now and don’t know what to do. I was once interested in a man as a potential husband, but I made it clear I didn’t want to pursue a relationship. I kept him as a friend, which I now see was a mistake. He reacted terribly. One time he snuck up behind me, wrapped a belt around my neck, dragged me, kicked and slapped me, spat on me, and tried to make me say sorry for reasons I still don’t understand. It went on for about ten minutes and I had bruises on my stomach from being dragged. He also said things like “I don’t want to treat you like any other woman on campus,” and I felt terrified and silenced. He boasted that nothing here could touch him, including the police, and I was scared so I stayed quiet. On another occasion he choked and slapped me when he got triggered. I tried leaving so many times, blocked him everywhere, but he wouldn’t let me go - others have seen some of this. I wanted it to stop quietly, so I didn’t tell authorities or my parents because I feared they wouldn’t take my side. He once pretended he was going to rape me and came very close; he said it was because “you thought you could leave me and there would be consequences.” He later claimed he only meant to scare me. He also slapped me in public once and no one helped. Recently, because I wouldn’t speak to him, he came to my building lobby to blackmail me and force me to unblock him. He says he’s done with me but vows to ruin my life: he even swore he will pray that Allah make me handicapped, barren, die alone, and for my parents to disown me. I told my parents what’s happening because I wanted to take control of the situation, but they were initially doubtful and have been talking to him to hear his side. He has been spreading vile lies about me (and I fear he’s using tech skills to fabricate things) and somehow knows about things from my past. I warned my parents not to listen to him because he’s manipulative and a liar. I understand some of their anger because I had a similar situation two years ago where someone tried to blackmail me using my parents. I feel stuck. I deleted my chats with him because they made me sick, so I have little evidence to prove my side. He’s upset because he wanted to marry me and says I wasted his year, and he’s angry I didn’t ask about his recent finger surgery. I don’t know how to face my parents while they’re so upset, how to convince them I’m innocent, or how to ask to continue my studies and regain their trust. I feel lost and like everything is against me. Please remember me in your duas. Edit: Alhamdulillah my parents are now on my side and believe me. They’re understandably still upset, but they’re supporting me. They’re still in contact with him and are telling him they will take action over what he’s revealed, so hopefully he leaves me alone. I filed a report with campus but later retracted it because I don’t want to trigger him. I’d rather him think he’s ruined my life and leave me alone than risk him doing more damage.

+315

Comments

Share your perspective with the community.

Auto-translated

I’m so relieved your parents believe you now. Take it slow, focus on safety and studies, and don’t rush forgiveness for yourself. Sending dua and virtual hugs. Stay strong, sis.

+4
Auto-translated

I can’t imagine how scared you felt. You did the right thing telling your parents when you could. Keep receipts of any messages he sends now, and don’t apologize for protecting yourself. Dua’s for your safety.

+4
Auto-translated

Alhamdulillah your parents came around. Still, please be careful - maybe change routines, lock doors, and tell a few trusted friends where you are. You deserve peace. Praying for you.

+7
Auto-translated

This is terrifying, I’m sorry you went through that. Good you told your parents eventually. Stay safe, document anything new, and consider a trusted counselor. Dua’ing for you daily.

+20
Auto-translated

Oh sweetheart, my heart. I’m so glad your parents believe you now. Please keep leaning on them and campus support - you don’t have to carry this alone. Sending duas and strength. ❤️

+17
Auto-translated

Girl, that’s sickening. So glad your parents are on board now. If you can, talk to a legal clinic or women’s group on campus - they might help without escalating things. Holding you in my prayers.

+9
Auto-translated

Praying for your healing. You did what you could under impossible pressure. Don’t blame yourself for deleting stuff - surviving was priority. Keep leaning on family and trusted allies.

+3
Auto-translated

This made my stomach drop. He has no right to treat you like that. Even if you retracted the report, you still reached out - that counts. Hope campus can support you quietly. Sending love and duas.

+3

Add a new comment

Log in to leave a comment