sister
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Finding peace despite constant criticism from my mother, any advice?

Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh. I'm a young sister struggling with my relationship with my mother. Growing up, our home wasn't a peaceful place. There was a lot of conflict and some very difficult experiences, and I can see how those past hardships have affected my mother's behavior now, especially towards her children. It's become very hard for me to bear the way my mother treats me. I find it difficult to confide in my friends because they often speak so lovingly about their own mothers, and I don't want to bring my family struggles into those conversations. Talking to my sisters about it also feels off, so I'm writing this here just to get it off my chest and, insha'Allah, find some clarity. The issue is the constant criticism. Everything I do seems to be wrong. If I spend a lot of time studying, I'm told I should be helping more at home. When I do help with chores, there's always a 'correct' way to do them, and I never seem to get it right. Even things I can't control, like having acne, are pointed out, and hurtful comments about my appearance are made. I try not to show how much it stings, but it really does hurt. I understand my mother has been through a lot, and I make sincere dua that Allah guides her and grants us all a better, more peaceful future. Jazakum Allahu khayran for listening. I hope this makes some sense.

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sister
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It's tough when you understand her pain but still need peace. Try to respond with patience and kindness, as you are. Dua and small acts of service can soften hearts, insha'Allah.

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sister
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This hit home so hard. I've been in the same spot. Sometimes creating a little emotional distance while being respectful is necessary for your own well-being. Praying for your sabr.

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sister
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Making dua for you. Remember, your intention to be a good daughter is what truly matters. Allah sees your struggle and rewards sabr.

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sister
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Omg yes, the 'correct' way to do chores. It's so frustrating! You're not alone, sis.

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sister
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May Allah ease your heart. Sometimes the best we can do is fulfill our duties with a smile, make constant dua, and protect our own peace. Your empathy for her is beautiful.

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sister
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The part about not being able to talk to friends... felt that. It's isolating. Just know this space hears you.

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