Finding Peace After a Painful Childhood: Seeking Sisterly Advice on This Blessed Day

Assalamu alaikum dear sisters, On this blessed day of Arafah, I spent my time at home trying to focus on worship and making heartfelt duas. But as I was pouring my heart out, I felt a deep shyness and inner struggle, and I really felt the need to reach out to you all and hear your experiences. Sometimes I feel embarrassed about the things I ask Allah for. Like, I make dua for wealth, not out of greed, but so I can help those in need. And I pray deeply for marriage, but honestly, more than anything, I pray for a husband because I desperately want a real home-a person I can finally call my home. I carry a lot of pain from my childhood. I grew up without a proper father figure. My biological father was an abusive alcoholic, and I lived in constant, choking fear that something terrible would happen to my mom. So my heart is so fragile when it comes to feeling protected and safe. In our culture and communities, it often feels like there's so much focus on the father's role, and it really hurts. I find myself wondering: how are women like me, who grew up without a father, actually seen in our deen and culture? If you came from a broken or abusive home, how did you heal? How did you learn to feel safe in Islam and later in a marriage? I'm so tired of carrying this weight alone, and on this sacred day, I'm just looking for comfort, reassurance, and some sisterly wisdom. Please keep me in your prayers, and may Allah bless you all. JazakAllah Khair.