Figuring out my faith: which school of thought is the right one?
Assalamu alaikum everyone, I'm a Muslimah who was raised in a Muslim family, so from a young age I learned to pray, fast, and have iman in Allah SWT and His Messenger ﷺ. My upbringing wasn't super strict-like, my parents never forced me to wear hijab or anything-but they've always backed me up whenever I decided to take a step in my deen. Alhamdulillah, I pray my five daily salah, do my adhkar, and try to read Quran here and there. But lately it hit me that I've never really dug deep into Islam as a proper study. My belief in Allah and Islam always felt natural, but I haven't put in the work to truly understand it all. These days I've been feeling a bit confused and kinda lost. I came across some stuff online saying that hadiths might not be completely reliable, and that got me thinking because so many of our rulings come from hadiths. I have full trust in the Quran, no doubt about it, but when it comes to hadiths, madhhabs, and all these different opinions, I just feel overwhelmed. I'm Sunni and follow the Maliki madhab since that's what most people where I live do, but sometimes I wonder: how do we know which madhab is the "correct" one? Hanafi, Shafi'i, Maliki, Hanbali… why so many differences if we're all Muslims? And how can we be sure about narrations that were written down and passed on so many years ago, without worrying something might've gotten mixed up? I'm not leaving Islam or anything-actually, the opposite. I love Islam and really want to understand my deen better, strengthen my iman, and get closer to Allah SWT. Maybe I'm just at that point where I'm starting to ask questions instead of just going along with things. Please don't judge me or anything, I'm honestly trying to learn with a sincere heart. If anyone has any advice, book recommendations, videos, or tips on how to start learning about deen without feeling totally lost, I'd be so grateful. Jazakum Allahu khayran 🤍