Feeling Really Lost and Unsure About My Path, Salaam
Salaam, I'm not sure how to start. Lately I've been feeling really anxious and lost, mostly about my career. On the surface things look good and alhamdulillah I have been blessed - I work in tech despite a humanities degree, earn above average for my age in my 20s, have been at the company 4 years, and people say I'm good at my job. But I've been having a bit of a crisis. To be honest, AI and the recent tech layoffs have terrified me and I keep having panic attacks worrying about job security and what will happen next. It sounds dramatic but it's how I feel. All this has made me replay my life choices and regret the path I took. I wish I had thought more about careers before choosing my uni degree. I keep thinking maybe I should've aimed for something more stable like medicine, dentistry, or a science field. I have younger friends who are medicine students and I get so envious - I know envy is bad in Islam and I'm making dua for a pure heart, but it's hard. I also struggle with low self-esteem. I was always top of class, school came easily, and realistically I could have pushed for any degree. After a lifetime of praise for being smart, I still crave that validation and now imagine being a doctor would give me that, even though I know you shouldn't pursue it for prestige. I feel lost, unfulfilled, jealous, and sad. I'm trying to remind myself that Allah's plan is wise and He knows what I don't, but part of me also remembers I made this choice when I was 16 and didn't explore other options. I wasn't as close to my faith back then, I didn't make much dua about it - I just followed a path. So how can I be sure it was the right choice? I also feel guilty and ungrateful sometimes because I've been given so much, and I don't want to fall into constant "what if" thinking or lose appreciation for Allah's blessings. I know I need to stop living in the past, but I don't know how to get out of this rut and move forward. Any advice or duas would be appreciated.