Feeling Lost and Wondering Why

Salam, everyone. It's just so hard sometimes. I got bullied pretty much all through middle school, and my grades totally suffered because of it. It feels like everyone else is friends with each other, but I'm just on the outside. A new brother from my home country joined the school and everyone welcomed him, which is great, but it just makes me wonder... why not me? I've made so much du'a, begging Allah to just let me pass or to make things easier, but it feels like my prayers hit the ceiling. I see others being blessed and I genuinely try to be happy for them, but I keep asking, 'When will it be my turn?' I've tried everything I can think of. Sometimes the thoughts get so dark that I question everything and fear the worst. I just don't understand what I'm supposed to do. I feel like I've tried everything, and I'm just so tired. Has anyone ever felt this way? What helped you hold on to your emaan?