Feeling guilt over changed views towards parents

Lately, I've been finding it really hard to show my mom the respect she deserves, and it's been weighing heavily on my iman. I catch myself answering her without proper adab, ignoring her, or even hiding things without feeling immediate remorse. She cries often-sometimes daily-and although I know it sounds awful, there's years of complicated feelings behind this. My mom grew up with a single mother and went through poverty until she worked her way into nursing and got married. After some tough family losses, she's remained incredibly strong, hardworking, and deeply devoted-always praying tahajjud, covering modestly, and studying tafseer and Hadith. But sometimes, it feels like someone might understand Islam deeply and yet struggle to apply it in a balanced way-sometimes leaning into another extreme, becoming more insecure and judgmental. My dad is gentle and forgiving by nature, but to a point where it almost feels unfair. His kindness shows as a lack of responsibility-like not offering emotional support, helping during pregnancies, sharing home duties (we’re a big family), or just being present as a companion. It's like quiet neglect, which feels like its own form of extremism. Their relationship has suffered a lot over time. They both hold onto resentment instead of moving forward, stuck in arguments and blame, and we, as children, are caught in between. About three years back, my dad made a painful decision to give away a portion of family land to his sisters-land that represented security to my mom-without discussing it with her. What hurt more was how he handled it afterward, showing little remorse. The fighting grew intense, sometimes physical, and our home lost its peace. My mom’s health worries me, while my father seems unaffected and does little to reconcile. Even now, years later, the pattern continues. Daily shouting and tears mostly from my mom, emotional distance from dad. As kids, we stay quiet because anything we say echoes their pain. We can’t laugh freely, go out without tension, or share our worries-my mom is overwhelmed, my dad just isn’t there emotionally. For about a year now, I’ve stopped engaging in trying to fix things, because real change has to come from within. I remind myself that guidance comes only from Allah-we can only advise and then step back. I see my mom’s anger affecting her good deeds when they’re together, and while she’s calm otherwise, their interactions bring out the worst. My dad doesn’t help either. It leaves me feeling drained, dreaming of moving out, even though leaving brings its own guilt and worry. I know Allah stresses honoring our parents. But what happens when constant hurt and exhaustion reshape your feelings? Is it wrong to feel this way? Is this a trial others face too?