Feeling anxious when listening to Quran

Salam everyone. I grew up in a tough home, and my mom would often play Quran after arguments with my dad-sometimes to cover his shouting, sometimes to find peace herself. So after every bad moment, I'd hear Quran playing. I didn't think much of it then, but now, as I've grown distant from Islam, listening to Quran makes me very anxious. My heart races, I feel uneasy and even sick. I hardly pray anymore because it doesn't bring me calm like before. Sometimes I scare myself thinking I might not believe, and I'm afraid of what could happen if I don't find my way back. I just don't know what to do.