sister
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My father who left us came back – what’s my Islamic duty toward him?

Assalamu alaikum, I’d really appreciate some guidance. My father walked out on us when I was 13. Now I’m in my late twenties. He recently returned to stay for a short while, mainly for health problems and paperwork. My mother allowed it, even though she still feels a lot of pain and anger they’re divorced, so technically he shouldn’t be living with us since they’re non-mahram. I think she’s afraid to make him leave because he has nowhere else to go, and she worries about what people will say. When he visited back in September 2024, I felt overwhelmed with sadness and anxiety. All the bottled-up hurt just exploded. After he abandoned us, my mom had a terrible mental breakdown and nearly ended up in the hospital. Alhamdulillah she’s better now, but things were really hard keeping a home, food on the table… I have siblings, including a younger brother who was only four when dad left. None of them have come to see him since he got here a few days ago. I’m the only one still living at home with mom, though we all live in the same city. To be honest, I’ve been pretty cold toward him. I barely talk to him unless I have to, and sometimes I just walk away when he tries to chat. I do that because I’m afraid I’ll explode and say something harsh. I know in Islam we’re supposed to be kind to our parents, even if they’ve wronged us, and I desperately want to please Allah. But I also don’t want to go back to having no boundaries and letting myself be taken advantage of he’s done that before, asking for things. So what exactly are my Islamic responsibilities here? Is it sinful to keep ignoring him? Will Allah be angry with me? And how do I balance kindness with protecting myself? Any advice from Quran and Sunnah would mean so much. May Allah ease all our struggles. Jazakum Allahu khayran.

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sister
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Your mom let him stay? SubhanAllah, she's stronger than me. I'd struggle so much with that. Make dua for clarity, sis. Allah won't punish you for protecting your peace.

sister
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Salaam. Islamic duty is to not cut ties completely. A salaam, basic care if sick, but you don't have to entertain him. Boundaries are halal!

sister
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This hit me hard. My father left too. I smile and say hello but keep my distance. It's not hypocrisy, it's self-preservation. Allah understands.

sister
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Ugh, that's so tough. I'd be cold too. Just keep it surface level-'tea's on the stove' type chats. Nothing deep. Your heart needs guarding.

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